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Injuries That Never Heal lamentations of a nameless disabled vet

#1 User is offline   FormerPFC31P 

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Posted 29 September 2003 - 11:21 PM

I missed my chance to serve in Iraq. While in training at Ft. Gordon, my vehicle was struck by another vehicle in July of 2001. The military calls these 'Motor Vehicle Accidents.' Whatever you call it, it changed my life in an instant, just as in an instant your world changed. I was not taken captive, nor was I shot. However, it was determined that my injuries were sufficient to discharge me from military duty. At first, I wanted to stay in the military. I fought to stay in. I soon realized that even though I wanted to stay in, the military didn't want me. After taking MRIs, the doctors told me that I have permanent damage to my lower back that prevents me from much other than standing and walking. They told me that if I were to stay in, they would have me in surgery and rehabilitation for the duration of my enlistment. On 9/11, at the time of the first plane crash, I was in physical therapy. After the conflict in Afghanistan, when we were preparing for war, I knew I could do the Army no more good. I felt helpless to help and worthless. I remember watching the news every day and hearing of your capture. I remember the agony of being ineffectual. I remember your rescue and feeling relieved. Then I was honorably discharged for medical reasons in February of 2003. Since then the only thing that has really changed for me is my zip code and my employer. I wish I had been there, where all my friends were and some still are, fighting the good fight. I have a daughter now, and I get to look forward to telling her that I served in the military in the gulf war era... cleaning the Sergeant Major's latrines on TAC detail. I wish you the best, and I feel at least a degree of your pain. Every day I still put on the 'good soldier face.' I'm sure you know the one. It's the mask I wear to hide my pain. I've found it doesn't work. But I wear it anyway. The person that I was is dead, and now I have to redefine my existence from scratch. I have found this to be difficult and painful, and I am sure you have as well. I often wonder if my old 'battle buddies' even remember me at all. You probably can't relate to that though, can you? You are an American hero now, everyone knows who you are and we are all proud of the contributions you made. Thank you for what you did for me as an American, you fought to protect the rights I couldn't protect. I know that things went wrong that day your vehicle collided with another while your unit was under fire. I know that someone failed you. But you never failed them, and you never failed the American people. And that is what counts.
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